Falling Back Into Hopelessness

So I no longer have any friends (spare the one in Ohio), and the world is seeming rather hopeless. I was told today that I was just like every other girl..I'm just a whining attention whore. And I don't know, I guess that's true. It all started with an out of taste joke saying people should be killed. I jokingly told him he was an ass. He wouldn't believe it was a joke and just went on and on about he was sick of everyone, including me, screwing him over. I explained so many times that I didn't hate him, but to no avail. He said he wanted me to tell him the truth, so I did. I told him everything that had happened with HIM, and how my anxiety effects me. He accused me of lying. My every word was used against me. What's wrong with me? I couldn't keep a friend if my life depended on it, and right now, it's feeling like it does. I don't see a future for myself right now. Everyone tells me I can't be a doctor because of my fear, then refuse to help with the fear. I don't want friends anymore. I just want to get away. Get away from this town, get away from myself, get away from this life. Damn. The main thing that's keeping me from ending it all tonight is the fact that that would make me just like every other whiny teenage girl in this world, now wouldn't it? Fuck it all.